Tell me honestly, do you really feel a sense of satisfaction after bickering for hours with someone on a topic or do you feel a migraine coming up. Even if you do prove your point, the satisfaction is short lived as a headache washes away your thoughts for the sensation of pure pain.
And remember the countless times when you aren’t able to prove your point even though you may have been right, yet are defeated by the onslaught of lies, repeated phrases that don’t make sense to you and in extreme cases swear words. You look at your wrist watch and realize the immense amount of time wasted on a baseless argument that ultimately reaped no benefits.
Helas! How frustrating, here is a challenge for you, give me one benefit of an argument. Now dear readers don’t confuse arguments with a healthy debate, although synonyms they are a far cry from being thought of as the same.
Arguments are usually the results of disputes and conflicts and an outlet of vented anger.
Sometimes the talk gets so coarse and uncouth that people take the support of lewd language to shun you up and resort to lies and gushing tears not to mention raising their voice volumes above the normal range!
Nope, not at all, there absolutely is no benefit of a conversation that demoralizes us from our civility and propriety.
Now arguments are the most common mode of conversation between siblings trying to push the burden of a chore on one another, spouses trying to prove themselves right and friends trying to justify their wrong deeds.
Nevertheless, if this action is so useless and the best prescription for a migraine, common sense deems us to simply avoid them.
But Oh no, during such an escapade, we feel our blood boiling and feel exhilarated by a strange sense of strength that enables us to keep up the squabble alive for a few many hours to come.
Need I tell you or will you realize yourself that all these red emotions are incited by none other than our age long enemy –the Satan, who wants to harm us in any conceivable way possible.
Now comes the question, “but what about when I am right, should I still refrain from arguing.”
Remember, it’s very easy to forgive when you yourself have your own share of transgressions, or to say, “I don’t want to argue” when you know you’re losing the argument anyway.
But it is EXTREMELY hard to stop arguing when you’re winning. Why? Because it’s a boost to your pride and it feels good to win, especially if you don’t really like the other party. It’s your chance to humiliate that person and put him in his place.
Furthermore, if you possess, ahem, the talent of speaking with sarcasm and are able to give witty repartees, victory is only a hands width away. Although novels and movies praise such talents, arguments are hardly the stage to exhibit these skills.
In these cases, one would hardly want to repress the urge of continuing with the argument.
So perhaps, some motivation is what we require to quell our rage and shut our mouths and thereby kill the altercation.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“I guarantee a house in Jannah for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a home in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners.” [Abu Dawud]
Now obviously this isn’t talking about dawah. This is when you are having a personal dispute or argument and despite knowing that you’re right, you leave it off for the sake of Allah سبحانه وتعالى.
You do this out of humility hoping that on the Day of Judgment Allah سبحانه وتعالى will not humiliate you. This is because avoiding quarreling keeps the hearts closer and prevents hatred between the Muslims.
Also remember that A’ishah narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
Imagine if someone paid you a million dollars to lose an argument, the Prophet ﷺ is promising you a home in Paradise which is so much sweeter.
That’s called winning by losing.
“Why do people always assume that volume will succeed when logic won’t? – Damon”
― L.J. Smith, Nightfall